Depression makes you feel weird. Like one day, you're all good and happy, and things seem to be looking up. Recovery can feel like a piece of cake. Forging connections with fellow humans is a breeze. You get just the right amount of sleep.
Then the boulder crushes you unexpectedly. Panic attacks abound. Basic functions like eating, showering, and sleeping are insurmountable challenges. Even things you used to enjoy, like music, make you feel nothing. And human interaction is limited to a forced smile and "hello".
I'm going through this roller coaster right now. Last month, J said we could meet again in July since I seemed to be doing well, and I believed the same. But just last night, I broke my streak of no-self-harm and started cutting again.
Depression is like falling off a cliff over and over. When you think you've finally found stable ground, you get pushed over the edge yet again.
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